Warning! ManRant Dead Ahead!
I'm perpetually single, probably because of my aversion to assholes.
That eliminates most eligible men. It would be ideal to find someone like me,
only they'd have to be a boy. And someone who isn't trying to pull all that hopeless
romantic crap. You're men! If all the guys who say "I love to take moonlit walks",
were actually out taking those walks, there wouldn't be any damned room to walk!
I dunno. Maybe I'm wrong; maybe you really do wish on stars and cry bitterly when you're
alone, guys, but I don't really buy it. Add to that the fact that I'm not really the type
that goes in for all that foo-foo crap (more likely to start a food fight at a romantic
candle light dinner than to actually be romantic), and you can see how I'm not
exactly your run-of-the-mill girl. Therefore, your average, run-of-the-mill boy isn't what
I'm looking for. However, for the convenience of those who should try to acquire the veritable
Excalibur of my admiration, I have included a handy list.
10 Ways To Really Impress Me- Beat Me at Crazy Eights
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Get Vague John Hughes References
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Do My Taxes
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Hate Baywatch Nymphettes (or at least pretend to)
- Know How to Sort Laundry
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Stomach My Cooking
- Make Me Squirt Coca Cola Through My Nose
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Solve A Rubix Cube Without Taking It Apart, Or Just Moving The Stickers Around
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Know How To Do The Hustle
- Admit You Know How To Do The Hustle
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