**Photos to Follow!**

So this weekend we went to that Derby Dolls event. When we found the closed-off street the party was being held on, there was already a fire marshal present, and absolutely zero parking. So we cruised around this neighborhood in downtown Los Angeles looking for a spot. The Derby Dolls website says it's the Chinatown district. All I know is that the murals lining the wall across the street from the projects we drove through depicted a lot of lowriders, fellows in Zoot Suits, and the Virgin Mary. Didn't look so much Chinese.

The fundraiser was Carnival themed. Let me just sum it up in one phrase: Drag Queen Clown on Roller Skates. Yup. Lots of bad ass bitches wearing teeny skirts and big ass skates. There were game booths, a dunk tank, sumo suits, a velcro wall, and a bounce house. I got some good pics of the gang in said house (shaped like Clifford the Big Red Dog). And Mr. Private (if you've been reading long enough, you know Mr. Private is my friend who wishes to remain nameless), won me a tiny purple vibrator at the Ring the Cock booth. Yes, you guessed it! Toss glow in the dark necklaces and try to ring the dildo sticking out of the larger than life, painted, chipboard man. Actually, he won two cock rings, and traded them up for the vibrator. Mark (okay with being not nameless, I guess, since he hasn't objected yet!) entered the pie eating contest, and got to be tied to his chair by a gal wearing silver tights, a black satin girdle, red pasties, and...skates, of course! He didn't win, per se, but I think he might tell you he came out a winner in oh-so-many other ways. Pie and Bondage; it can't be beat!

Did I forget to mention the guy in a Pan costume on stilts? And cheap booze? A winning combination.

The derby itself was on the rooftop. But they were asking an additional charge to enter that building, and word was that the fire marshall had shut them down early in the evening. So, although we didn't actually watch anyone get a skate crammed down their throat, there was lots of fun had by all.