Thanks for your kind congratulations!

I'm still having a great time. Although the first few days I had to work on a Mac. Now, I know I'm about to piss off a lot of people—strangers, my friends, and even my boss--but seriously...that machine is the most ridiculous thing ever.

Shit bounces! It begs for your attention like a spoiled child! This is the neediest interface I've ever known. I mean, it's downright distracting. Maybe if I did something really fun with my computer, this would be entertaining. But I don't want to hit some key accidentally and have all my windows suddenly swoop away, or into tiny abstract tiles. I don't want icons to vanish in a cloud of smoke when I drag them away from their place onto the desktop. I don't want rounded edges on my windows, or a freakin' stoplight in the corner of all my documents.

Now, I'm sure plenty of this could be altered by changing my preferences. But I just don't have the damn time, or the patience. That's it Mac, I'm through with your constant pestering, your self-centered theatrics. I don’t need this drama. I’m going to find a nice little laptop with Windows. We are going to work this out together. Although I’m going to have to throw in a mouse, because I ain’t having that little finger pad. And that mouse is going to have a roller, because dragging ain’t my style.

Damn, am I a high maintenance iBitch, or what?