Thoughts on Dating

I’m thinking about meeting someone.
You know, just going out and doing it.
It’s not that hard, I know,
just a matter of changing
my frame of mind.
The world is crawling
with men.
I’ve met a lot of them.

But I know until now
I had decided
to throw them away
if they started looking too real
and to show my feelings
to the wrong ones
too soon.

So I tried to think up
some smart moves.

I consider holding out.
Acting disinterested.
Pretending I have
an upcoming trip
to a place I might live
someday soon.
I consider heading to more parties.
Wearing low-cut blouses.
Putting on makeup
to go to the grocery store
and acting like I know
how to pick a melon.
I consider a diet.
And a makeover.
I consider pretending
I’m not ever jealous
or insecure
or
well
a little bit crazy.

Who am I fooling?

If love is coming for me,
it’s going to have to come strong,
and it’s going to have to sucker punch me,
because I’m determined to fuck it up
the second it’s in my sight.