So my mother called me at work today to tell me how she’d gotten my favorite sweets, turrones, for Christmas Eve. I look forward to these like nobody’s business. They’re cut up and passed around after dinner, with coffee. I usually hang around the kitchen after the trays come back, and get a wicked sugar high off them. She also related this most recent exploit of Janet’s, who called while Christmas shopping for my Grandmother. Let me reiterate, we all love Janet dearly, and would never make fun of her, really. Ok, maybe just a little. But just because we love her! In Spanish and English.

“Tia, no te burles de mi, tu sabes que soy un poquito retardadita. Estoy comprandole bombachas a abuela. Se los compro Low Cut o Bikini?”

“Aunty, don’t make fun of me. You know I’m a little bit retarded. I’m buying underwear for Grandma. Do I get the Low Cut or Bikini?”