Hi!

I found your site while looking for the lyrics for this song (you're on the first Google page :-) to verify if someone really has taken my thoughts and made them into a song. The same thing happend to me with Skunk Anasie's Hedonism a few years ago, scary - some musicians making money off my feelings ;-)

Well, life goes one, keep on blogging (or whatever you blogging people say :-)

Regards,
Eilo
--
Quotomat says: "When you grow up, your heart dies."
(Ally Sheedy as Allison Reynolds in 'Breakfast Club', 1985)

Funny you should use that quote. I have an entry called "Basket Case" from after I went to see the midnight showing of Breakfast Club at the Nuart.

http://www.poethelena.com/archives/000040.html

Hi!

It's one of my three favourite things-to-put-under-sad-posts-quotes :-)

I tend to put a quote under every email, message board posts, etc.

This is actually my second favourite, number three is
"Never love anything, kiddo, you just end up losing it."
from - surprisingly - the '98 remake of Lost In Space. You would not think that something like this pops up there :-) But it's a tad nihilstic, and I usually just use it when I'm really depressed.

Number one comes from one of my favourite movies, Strange Days:
"Memories are meant to fade. They're designed that way for a reason."
This sounds sad, but still a little bit of hope left somewhere in there :-)

Regards,
Eilo
--
Quotomat says: "I won't let this build up inside of me... she isn't real... I can't make her real."
("Vermillion" by Slipknot)

Hi!

Hmm, I wanted to put this under the other blog entry, the one about Breakfast Club, but you blog didn't liked it :-) So, I put it here...

I watched Breakfast Club a few months ago and was pleasantly surprised how good the movie actually is - sometimes movies look better in your memory than on the screen. But if you take the dance scene as an 80s relict, it stood the test of time very well.

I saw it first when I was about 20, so I was too old to compare myself with any of the characters - and even back in school I think I was more a character missing from the movie - the guy who is not very interesting himself, but has friends in all of these cliques. Sometimes it pays not to be special :-)

My favourite Hughes film is still Ferris Bueller's Day Off. I love this movie. I saw it when I was about 12 or 13 in the cinema with my cousin. And when we got it on video we watched it every weekend at least once for months and months. Ahh, those were the good times :-)

Hmm, I got go on about the meaning of the "heart dies" quote (for me) and how I managed to never transform to the enemy (and I'm already 29 :-) but I don't want to trash your blog with my musings :-)

Regards,
Eilo
--
Quotomat says: "I won't let this build up inside of me... she isn't real... I can't make her real."
("Vermillion" by Slipknot)

I don't think I need to tell you that when I wrote that, I was in a very sad frame of mind indeed. There were a couple of years where I really felt much older than I was, unnecessarily.

My sense of optimism (usually quite bright) was really fading. Partly due to a depressing government job that showed me the worst side of people all day long, and partly due to my personal relationships, which were lacking in joy, to say the least.

It was a bad time for me.

I think if I saw that movie now, I'd feel sort of the same, in that I know how getting bitter happens, and how sad it is to feel you've lost the hope of youth. But I'd feel like it was more of a warning than a fact. I feel like I have another chance to be happy, and I'm doing my best to take it for all it's worth.

Hi!

Well, when I think of "When your grow up, your hearts dies", I always remember that as a child, I was happy. I don't mean that I'm now constantly unhappy or something like that, but if you would walk to let's say 9 year old Eilo (then still a simple Stefan :-) at a moment when nothing particular good or bad happened, and you would ask him, if he is happy, he would say yes.

The default position of my internal happy-o-meter was always above zero, so to speak. But somehow, somewhere on the way, it dropped below zero. I don't know when it happened, maybe the moment when you realize for the first time that there are worse things out there than scraping your knee on the playground, or not getting the toy pirate ship for christmas. And you grasp that they could happen to you or the people you love.

At this point you notice that you have to do something to be happy. You need to make good friends and/or a have good connection to your family, who then in turn make you happy when you are around them. You need to find a hobby or other stuff that makes you happy. You have to find that special someone (we all know that this is the most difficult task of them all :-) You now have to work for happiness, it's no longer free.

I think if you get that, it makes life a lot easier. If you don't your happy-o-meter drops lower and lower over years until you are one of these people who seem to never have had a single day of fun in their whole life.

Regards,
Eilo
--
Quotomat says: "I may be synthetic, but I'm not stupid."
(Lance Henriksen as Bishop in 'Aliens', 1986)