You know what sucks worse than being lied to? Being lied to by someone who you never thought would. I had one person, one person in my life I held in such a high regard that if anyone so much as thought about questioning their moral character, I launched into a tirade against them. How dare you. You don't know him. You don't know anything about him. He's not that kind of guy. He wouldn't do that.

I defended you, I thought you were a model for everyone else that came next. I thought I would never meet another man like you. But you're like every other man, after all.

I can't express this disappointment articulately to anyone else. They look at me and say, "Well, what did you expect?" I try to tell them, "You don't understand. He's not like other people."

If you can't tell, the last two days have been pretty emotional. I hope it gets better soon, because I don't know how much of this I can stomach. For now, it feels good to vent a little. But I can't believe I'm having such a fucking junior high moment. You lied to me, I'll never believe in forever again, every promise is false, nothing lasts. I guess it just happens this way if you wait so long to have a long-term relationship and fail at it. I think most people my age have already been in love and lost it at least once. But this is the first failure of that kind for me, the first time I ever thought about getting old with someone, and had that all disappear. Not that it's disappeared recently. It's just, I guess a lot of it hadn't really sunk in with me. Now it's sinking, pretty hard.

It hurts to admit he wasn't somehow better than human. It hurts to admit that this wasn't the one love that was going to overcome all odds and bring me the satisfaction, the comfort, the eternal bliss that I was promised by every story ever written. But it won't hurt for long, right?