Blood and Guts: Helena Lazaro
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Blood and Guts
August 6, 2005 05:05 PM

Angelfood Cake


After three days
of water
of being disgusted by food
of feeling sick in my heart
I went out

My friends
had made me
a belated birthday cake
topped with fruit
drizzled with chocolate
and smothered in
sweet white cream
A beautiful cakebest cake ever
that made me feel
nauseous
to look at

But a couple of drinks later
a few laughs later
I was ready to try again

And it was

the sweetest cake
I’d ever had

the juiciest peaches
the richest chocolate
the thickest cream

every bite was closer to heaven
and I knew
because I’d been
three days
in hell



Captain Oblivious

He came to drop off some boxes
the last trinkets I’d left
in our apartment
While I stand sobbing
uncontrollably
he gets back into his car
He says
Call me if you need anything

I do need something

I do




liar

he said
blue was my color

blueit used to make me feel beautiful
every time I put it on
he would say
see!
i told you
blue’s your color

i’d strut around
with my feathers
fanned out

but now i wear it
with reservation
i wear it
without feeling
too proud

he said
blue was my color
but he said
a lot of other things besides


More dudes suck, love and relationships, poetry, why i need therapy
Comments

Cake + friends always makes everyone feel a little better.

Posted by: Neil on August 6, 2005 05:42 PM

I have missed you so much, it was so great seeing you! A drink with Helena was just what the doctor ordered I hope it helped you too!
See you soon!
M

The cake was really good!

Posted by: Marina on August 6, 2005 10:27 PM

Cake.
It is a mixture of what goes into it that ultimately deems it's worthyness - as in good eggs, flour, sugar, butter.
Angel Food Cake is egg whites, sugar and some oil - simple really; but I have never mastered it... yet standing at my Mothers' knee watching her turn them out one after another, balancing the pans upside down on whatever pop bottle or similar long necked container was handy to cool before plopping airlessly out of the cone they are born into, and; as it was my favourite from birthdays long past (hence I seem to deem it necessary to pass them on when birthdays present themselves on time or not), I slave to the Store Bought only because I can't bake them to pass muster myself still. But when you take that lowly puff of white airy fluff, and dress them up - the Belle of the Ball magically appears, much like the Birthday Girl this said cake was intended for as her finger tip touched lightly at our doorbell last night.
Yes - we miss you, I miss you - for reasons other days will decipher when they finally need be, that cake stirred memories in me from the days next to mi mami's knee and then down thru the years to the present, and as such - became the present I lack funding to deliver...friendship or hope returning. I am truly glad I was able to give you a little boost and truly sorry for what ails you at the same time.
Back to the ultimate worthyness of deemed ingredients - it's the mixture of what IS present to make it work - be it food, friends or life - we try to pick the best we can get (we want), when we can't, we make the best of what we have (we achieve). Without them - the rest get by (they settle).

Don't ever settle, life becomes flat like a bad cake mix.

Posted by: Big D on August 7, 2005 12:20 AM

I know this isn't what you want to hear, but that cake looks amazing.

The writing ain't half bad either, but the cake? Mmmm.

Posted by: Pauly D on August 7, 2005 12:52 AM

I know, Pauly!! Doesn't it just look heavenly? This is, unfortunately, merely a representation of the cake I had. My cake was much more stylish.

Thank you for my cake guys. Rina, seeing you was EXACTLY what I needed. I might need regular doses.

Posted by: Helena on August 7, 2005 01:55 PM
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