Blood and Guts: Helena Lazaro
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My Family and Friends
August 11, 2005 12:48 PM

Dude. My mom just totally called my ex-boyfriend an asshole on my web page. And I think she threatened him.

Bad JujuHe got sick after we broke up and hasn't been able to shake it. I asked him if he knew why. And he said, Some crazy Cuban curse you put on me? I told him that was close, but not quite. There are at least three women in my family (not to mention Rina) putting bad juju on you. You are gonna have bad juju for as many generations as I have behind me now. Your grandkids will have bad juju.

Of course, I was joking. My mother had said nothing about the matter besides consoling me and telling me he was a turd (which I already knew). But now I'm not so sure. And I know once my aunt gets out of the hospital, their freaky twin powers will activate and I will be at strength 10 or something.

Get well soon, Tipsy, because I would like to make his dick not work this weekend.


More dudes suck, familia
Comments

Oh how fun! It puts a whole new spin on Friday night. We can drink bacardi and put a curse on asshole and his bug! I'm so excited! Maybe Michelle would like to come too!

I bet he had no clue who he was fucking with... Are ya sorry yet ya little bastard?

Posted by: Marina on August 11, 2005 01:00 PM

Hey I have a Voodoo doll at home. It's new in it's box. Do you think you could come up with some hair? LOLOL

Posted by: Marina on August 11, 2005 01:07 PM

No hair, but I still have that toothbrush in my trash can I think...

Posted by: Helena on August 11, 2005 01:25 PM

Whoa, you can use the word "dick" on a blog that your mother reads? I have much to learn about your Cuban culture and its strange powers.

Posted by: Wade on August 11, 2005 01:28 PM

My whole freakin family reads this blog now. But I had it long before they knew about it, and I decided that if I was not going to censor myself for strangers, I was not going to do it for the people who know me. It does make it a little harder to talk shit, but you know...we talk shit to each others' faces.

Posted by: Helena on August 11, 2005 02:16 PM

The toothbrush may work... Maybe we can cook something up and all his teeth will fall out!

Posted by: Marina on August 11, 2005 03:53 PM

I'll remember never to cross you -- or I'll get your entire family out to get me.

Posted by: Neil on August 11, 2005 04:01 PM

See why couldn't all guys be as smart as you Neil? BTW I was checking out your site yesterday and really enjoyed it. I think you may have yourself another "regular".

Posted by: Marina on August 11, 2005 04:26 PM

Thanks for wishing me well,honey. I DID try to work something up, but the EKG machine got in the way. As soon as I come home we will get something done (JA JA JA!)
LOVE YOU
Tipsy

Posted by: Tipsy on August 11, 2005 06:04 PM

Bwhahahaha.

Love that.

Posted by: Pauly D on August 11, 2005 08:53 PM

My family is the best. Also, in case anyone was curious, JA JA JA is spanish for HA HA HA. Get it?

Posted by: Helena on August 11, 2005 10:13 PM

Geee! I hope you'll (find out and then) let your readers know how bad the weekend turned out for him. How can it not get sour with all of us hoping it will totally suck for him!

I have no voo-doo abilities, (I can't even flirt so anyone notices it). But I'm sure my efforts of bad vibe'ing him will be delivered by the help of more proficient JuJuers.

Posted by: Rarity on August 12, 2005 01:09 AM

Ummmm, so now I am afraid that the bad JuJu will somehow find it's way misdirected at me :( I sold that VooDoo doll on eBay last month (LOL) and the Buyer was in Louisiana - where of course; VooDoo and JuJu go hand in hand! So, I will help you in whatever way you need - if you have an old sock of his - we can make powerful JuJu outta it and his toes will rot, then his ankles,legs,and on up to wherever you want to stop at!

See ya tonite!

SD

Posted by: Big D on August 12, 2005 10:03 AM

You sold the doll????

Posted by: Marina on August 12, 2005 02:40 PM

I was involved with a man who's ex-wife put a spell on him back in Cuba. (That he would bad luck with every woman). We are not together anymore, but do you know of any way to break the spell without his participation? (He's too afraid to go to anyone who would be able to help him). I would appreciate any help you can give.

Posted by: Kay on January 13, 2006 04:49 PM
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