During an exchange with Groonk today, my well-documented nerd love reared its bespectacled head. I explained how I never have (and never will) like the meathead/preppy/pretty boy types—the kind my friend Kevin refers to as “Sweet Dudes.” In fact, I feel a certain level of contempt for them, because they're usually empty-headed and vain—not to mention devoid of personality. And, while many men (and some women) will be with an insufferably boring or dim-witted person just because they’re hott, I can’t imagine a dude hot enough to make me overlook a missing personality.
Yes, I am an elitist in this regard. I’ve gotten to the point where I’m actually considering use of an IQ test to determine the date-worthiness of a guy.
But I have good cause! Nerds are better than Sweet Dudes for several reasons. Here are just 10 of them.
10 Reasons Nerds Rule (and Sweet Dudes Can Suck It)
1) They're smart (How astute, I know. Quit with the snark, nerd)
2) They appreciate other people’s smartness (I said quit with the snark! On my blog I get to make up words if I want)
3) They get all the Strongbad, Aqua Teen, Mr. Show, and other random culty references I make (Because if you exclaim, “Hail Satan!” to someone who doesn’t get it, it weirds 'em out a little)
4) They’re not used to lots of attention from hot babes, or even just people with boobies, so they react appreciatively (Usually. Sometimes they run and hide, but that is often just as much fun, for me)
5) They love NES games as much as I do (only they know where a lot more of the hidden stuff is)
6) They have a hot vocab (dudes with bad grammar get Baleeted)
7) They can fix my computer and hook up my electrical do-dads (You think I set up this router by myself? No-ho-hoooo…)
8) They usually have a good job, or at the very least, A job (I’m not materialistic, but unemployment really is just a turn-off)
9) They’re probably not sleeping around (Although the growing faction of nerd groupies like me is making that less and less a guarantee)
10) They’re always good at...well, you know. It was best put by my second favorite Tri-Lamb: “All jocks ever think about is sports. All nerds ever think about is sex.” (Booger is #1, in case you wanted to know, and I KNOW you did)
Sure, their social skills are sometimes lacking, and they often need guidance in the fashion department—but that’s a small pittance, considering all the joy a properly groomed and cultivated Nerd can bring you for years to come.
More dudes rule
Pi = 3.14159265358979323 -- "Boobies?" Um, der, I have to go calibrate my calculator.
Posted by: Bukowski on October 6, 2005 06:54 PMyay! i'm a nerd! i love NES games!
Posted by: Ceity on October 6, 2005 08:35 PMhow apt. I was just thinking about this an hour ago. I realised that since it's near impossible for a girl who's thinking to orgasm, then this is a good reason not to have the focus of the relationship as intellectual.
is it possible to have an intellectual, but the capacity to be animal & chuck it to the dogs at any given moment?
oh happy impossibilities. let them be.
Posted by: boxen on October 6, 2005 11:58 PMHelena, great post!!! I completely agree with you 100% Of course, I've been enamoured of Nerds since high school. I like a man who I can actually TALK to. And to answer boxen's query, yes, many nerds have the capacity to become all animal. That's why you have to take them home before someone else discovers their secret.
Jen Neil
It's not only nerds that have an appreciation for Mr. Show. I like Mr. Show.
Posted by: bill on October 7, 2005 09:32 AMBuk, you can have both! 80085
Ceity, you can't be a nerd! Your clothes are too cool :)
Boxen, I think there is a time and place for both. And I think we're actually animals first, but all repressing it to different degrees--that's where the intellect comes in. And sometimes we do need to tell our brain to step off while the rest of us has some fun.
Jen, you KNOW! Aren't they the best? I think they've got even more animal to unleash, in fact.
Bill, don't worry. You still get points because you are a huge DORK. Not the same as NERD, but a close second.
Posted by: Helena on October 7, 2005 11:24 AMi guess i have to call up FTD and cancel those woo-helena flowers. she won't bat an eye at me cuz i'm not a nerd... ;-)
Posted by: ceity on October 7, 2005 12:21 PMWhere can I find more like you?
Posted by: Wade on October 7, 2005 12:44 PMUm, where do the nerd groupie chicks hang out? I've got a sweater vest that I've been meaning to try out on the lady-types.
Noooo! Ceity, you are the nerdiest nerd! :( I haven't had flowers in forever.
Wade, I would direct you to Jen, but she's taken. Alternatively, there's gk2gk.com.
AJ, I'll be your guinea pig. I suggest you pair it with some pants that accentuate all your subtleties.
Posted by: Helena on October 7, 2005 04:47 PMHey, AJ, try the library and the coffee shop (not Starbucks), but dude,I've been to your blog, and if you're a real nerd, you hide it very well. Something tells me you don't have any problems with the ladies.
Posted by: Jen Neil on October 7, 2005 04:49 PMhot vocab- yes! It's such a turnoff to get an email devoid of grammar and content.
Posted by: claire on October 7, 2005 06:08 PMI dream of a Nerdy Guy, but I can't attract one of them, sadly. I am lameness incarnate.
However, this girl will simply continue to dream. And, lord yes, a guy who can appreciate ATHF references rolling from the lovely lips of his best girl - that dude's a keeper.
- Merujo
Damn, Meatwad!
Thak you for that - everything on that list I've lived out. Except the boobies part. Gay nerds are always used to attention by the ladies. Just in a different way. Hence why I love them so.
Posted by: JaySix on October 9, 2005 10:12 PMI was already to show up in your bed when you came home from work tomorrow, but then I realized that I have no idea what Strongbad or Aqua Teen are. Shit, I thought I had it easy! When will I ever be nerdy enough for Helena?
Posted by: Neil on October 10, 2005 01:27 AM
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