A History in Mattresses

I.
When you and I
moved in together,
I bought a new mattress
from Sears.
It had a 6 year warranty
and a down pillow-top.
I dragged it up the stairs with my mother
and made sure to rotate it regularly,
so it would last.

Still,
I somehow got insomnia,
and I started sleeping
on the couch
downstairs.

When I
moved out of our place
and into my own apartment
I left the mattress behind.
I bought an inflatable one
to make do with for a while.

II.
Even though
we were split up
you still took me out
most weekends,
and we called each other
pet names
while eating at our
favorite restaurants.

One night
you stayed over
and we slept on the inflatable bed.
Our bodies kept
rolling away from the edges
until we gave up
and sank into the middle
laughing.

We were like
two little birds
in a warm nest
until morning,
when the sun came
and turned your raven hair
into a glossy black halo.

I got a real mattress,
one you didn't
have a chance
to see.
But I have never slept
as peacefully since.

III.
Now I stay up nights again.
The insomnia is back,
and I can't blame it
on your snoring.

Someone else
sleeps in Our bed--
but it's Your bed,
Yours and Hers.
I have to remember that.

My bed
has only ever
belonged to Me.
Though a few
have passed through,
none stay long enough
to call it Theirs.

And it's my own fault
I know,
thinking I
could share my bed
with them
and still share my heart
with you.

Now that both are empty
I understand.