The night I wrote this more than six years ago, it had no title and I didn't really know who I was writing about. But as soon as the pen stopped, I realized it was a poem to myself.

It isn't hot off the presses, but it's never been seen by anyone. What it lacks in quality it makes up for in honesty--at least to me. It's very personal. Funny, more than six years later it still sounds familiar. Same shit, different day I guess...only now, I'm a little closer to merging these two different people.

Poem to Myself

Your affection
is a fleeting one
with no origin or destination
just an inexhaustible
supply of fuel
Try
to hold still
just once
just for a moment
see how it feels
to be at rest
like bathing
in peppermint

My love could
undo you
the knot of your heart
could give you
peace and certainty
Haven't you always wanted
peace and certainty?
Haven't you always said
the only thing you desired
was just a taste
of peace and certainty?

I offer it to you
now
but now
it has become a trap
a big metal thing
with rusted teeth

You are not like me
you said you were
but you are nothing
like me
My love is
here today
here tomorrow
and yours
never existed
at all