Blood and Guts: Helena Lazaro: Open letter in which I say a bunch of crap you've heard from me before.

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Open letter in which I say a bunch of crap you've heard from me before.

December 5, 2006 04:29 PM

Dear Jerks,

I don't know if it's me getting older, or more confident, or both--but I just don't have time for your bullshit anymore. I'm not interested in chasing after you. I'm not going to spend an afternoon wondering why you haven't called, or when you will call again, or what I did wrong. Because I didn't do anything wrong.

I'm not interested alot of wait-and-see. I don't want to worry that by appearing interested, I'll lose someone's interest in me. Doesn't that seem backwards? There's no room in my life for these riddles, I've had enough of them. Maybe you're not looking for someone who is going to be that messy. Maybe you'd like to meet someone who makes the right moves, makes herself unavailable, inaccessible. Someone who manipulates you, keeps you guessing. Someone who keeps her vulnerable, real parts tucked away.

If that's the case, I wish you the best of luck. But I'm not willing to spend another day of my life wondering if and when you'll decide what you want from me. You have the power to withhold things from me, to try to make me feel as if I have no choice but to wait. That I am powerless. But the truth is that I have just as much power as you do...yes, you can decide when and where you'll be available. You can decide to be dishonest with me, or lead me on. But I can decide that anyone who would employ these fucked-up dating torture-devices isn't worth my time.

So thanks, it's been real (kinda), but I've got someplace to be.

More dudes suck

Comments

you know what i think would be fun? filling you up with tequila and letting you go off. i'm TOTALLY buying you a bottle whenever i'm in town ;)

Posted by: brandon on December 5, 2006 08:14 PM

A couple of weekends ago I went to one of the bars that the hipsters love (in Silverlake, no sign, you get it) and found myself on the smoking patio in an anti-hipster rant. I think maybe it's just pent-up sexual energy. So...yeah, tequila. I'm down :) But it's at your own risk!!

Posted by: Helena on December 5, 2006 10:15 PM

Hurrah! Now you just have to stick to your words... you can do it!

Posted by: J on December 6, 2006 01:23 AM

That was great ....
And yes a Tequila ranting would be fun

Posted by: Batonga on December 6, 2006 06:51 AM

Amen, sister. Kick that shit to the curb.

Posted by: savia on December 6, 2006 08:15 AM

You go!

Posted by: Deanna on December 6, 2006 12:32 PM

Aw you guys are the best :) Thank you for indulging me in my moments of petulance.

Posted by: Helena on December 6, 2006 01:18 PM

please dont confuse "leading you on" with us guys just being polite.

Posted by: mark on December 8, 2006 03:38 PM

Pretty well sure I know the difference. But please don't confuse being a coward with being polite.

Posted by: helena on December 8, 2006 03:59 PM

Ohhhh snap, online text war. Fuck yeah!!!! I hope that it continues so that the following will make some sense to those who liked an 80's rapper by the name of Monie Mone

Tarous is in the middle

Where's he at?

In the middle.

Posted by: Tarous on December 8, 2006 10:17 PM

Amen sister!

I agree completely, and I'm much happier when I'm in "Fuck off jerk I'm too good for you" mode than when I'm simpering and insecure.

Posted by: Peggy Archer on December 9, 2006 05:52 PM

Dammit, Helena... if I were 27 again I would do my best to sweep you off of your feet and... errm, wait. I would also have to be handsome, charming and intelligent. Yeah, and if I were 27 again then you wouldn't have been born yet and... well, that's why I can't write romantic fiction. Anyway, keep your heart strong and know that there is "the one true love" searching and hoping to find you.

Posted by: Spender on December 14, 2006 11:10 AM