It took me awhile to figure this one out, but people give you clues about themselves. If a guy says, "I don't deserve you" it's because he knows he doesn't and is eventually going to do something to prove himself right. Self-fufilling prophecy.

My current/former/who the hell knows love interest kept saying, "I don't know if I'm ready for you." I didn't want to hear that, so I ignored it. But he was right. He wasn't ready. He had a lot more work to do on himself before he could be in a healthy relationship. Which is why we're not together right now.

Oh, yeah, and if anyone tells you repeatedly, "Trust me", run for the motherfucking hills. Because if you really are a trustworthy person, you don't have to say it all the time.

Hey lady! So nice to see you again :) You are so right--I am learning that I should listen. That's one of the chapters in my most recent read, "He's Just Not That Into You," and focuses on the fact that guys usually tell the truth. If they say, "No really, I'm a jerk," I should listen. Or, "I don't know what I want." All it takes is for me to stop hearing what I want to ("Oh, well, I guess I might be able to make an exception for you if you try hard enough and feel like crying all the time.") and hear what they're saying.

The book has helped a lot, but it doesn't do much to alleviate the feeling of disappointment. Oh well, next time...

p.s. I know that I'm about three years late to the HJNTIY party but I never thought it could contain information I didn't already know. Well this time around I realized I HAVE to change something about my approach, and went ahead and picked it up. Surprise! I wish every girl I knew would read this; it would spare us all so much heartache.

I'm glad to see you're posting again!

That book is timeless. And incredibly freeing. I no longer pine or lament or obsess over men or hang on to the assholes. Thank God. That was a waste of time.

It's incredible what a little phrase can do, isn't it. But you're a poet, so you know all about that ;)

You, ma'am, have the gift of voice and song, and I long to hear you sing deep into the night!